Falling in and out of Love.

I think when most people read the title, they think of the love between two human beings. But what about the love you might have for an object-tangible or intangible? Many of us fall in love with food, with pop culture, animals (sometimes TOO in love but beastiality is another topic...),cars, and traveling. Just because it wasn't human does it mean its a bad thing?

Between the ages of 23 and 26 i became OBSESSED with traveling. I fell hard for the feeling of excitement that it induced. Traveling, anywhere, was like a drug. And in between my travels, I spent most of my time obsessing over how to get to that new place, that new high. I fell in love with traveling HARD and there was nothing or no one that would stop me from doing it.

So the question then was Why did I, like so many, feel the need to travel so much? I almost always traveled alone, meeting interesting and not so interesting people on the way only to find I was never satisfied. So I guess like the way human love changes you, travel changed me as well and hopefully like human love it will change me for the better. All I know is that I have changed, but how so and how much or for the better still remains a small mystery that I hope will unravel with time.

On another note, a quote from a travel article made me see my traveling in a different light: ''we carry values and beliefs and news to the places we go, and in many parts of the world, we become walking video screens and living newspapers, the only channels that can take people out of the censored limits of their homelands.'' In contemplating my travels, I almost always looked at the experiences in how it changed me without realizing how my own- however small impact- has affected the lives of those I have met whilst traveling. A lovely two way street relationship indeed.

My ''late'' twenties- a quarterlife crisis?

After reading an article on the ''Quarterlife crisis'' I wondered if this was indeed what I had been experiencing since graduating grad school 6 months ago with little or no prospect of a career job in the near future..

The article discussed the vicious cycle that many of us go through in our 20s..

Phase 1: Getting totally excited over something new, different...BIG. (school, new job, new relationship)
Phase 2: Getting bored over that totally new something (school, not so new job, not so new relationship)
Phase 3: Getting frustrated, angry leading to some kind of breakdown and feelings of empytness.
Phase 4: Finding a new totally exciting thing...sound like phase one?

After college, I didn't choose a traditional career path. I traveled ALOT. I lived in Asia, Europe and Australia so I kept telling myself there was no way I was living my life in a monotonous pattern...I was being totally spontaneous and living my life to the fullest! But underneath it all was a pattern: I moved each time in February always staying for 5 or 6 months at the most (Australia excepted)...in essence I was never committing to any place or person.

Meanwhile my friends back home were busy building careers, falling in love, getting engaged, and purchasing homes. I came home to find I wasn't getting the jobs I wanted and I began comparing how fulfilling my life was to theirs...I started assessing my own success in life against the things that my friends had obtained that meant success in America: a nice car, a ''fulfilling career'', a serious relationship thinking ''wow my life is so NOT fulfilling'' all the while fighting the urge to run away to another country and see what else was out there...

But it was only after having numerous conversations with friends who had seemingly found success that was supposed to make u happy, I realized that they were still having the same feelings I had...and I realized the problem wasn't the paths we were choosing, it was US...and not knowing how to be happy with what we already had.

We may not have had the same choices in common, but we had the same problem: TOO MUCH CHOICE. Having so much opportunity ironically acted as a deterrent to actually accomplishing our goals. There was always something else better we could think our lives could go or we began questioning if this was all life was about? (phase 3 of the cycle if you recall). This level of doubt or uncertainty that always lay just under the surface only made us question our life choices more. As the article points out, we distract ourselves with meaningless conversations, late night drinking, weekend getaways to Vegas. But after a while are those things still fulfilling?

I, for one, refuse to succumb to my quarter life crisis. Traveling and living abroad has helped me realize the things that make me truly happy are truly intangible: sharing an amazing conversation with a ''stranger'' on a train from Casablanca to Marrakech, watching the sunset in Santorini, or teaching English to a child who is desperately trying to perfect the language because it will help bring in more money for the family. These experiences and more helped to define who I am as a person. Learning compassion, generosity, the courage to stand up for what you believe in, and empathy for another human being are things I can be proud of indeed (key word: learning)

Article link: http://www.eyeweekly.com/article/55882